


Untitled Love Story For You x

by wazhappeninbigman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Multi, alternate universe kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wazhappeninbigman/pseuds/wazhappeninbigman
Summary: Stiles knew he didn't really have to make a drastic deceleration of love for it to be known. He knew that everyone in there own way knew he was in love.He wasn't ready yet. He didn't need anyone yet. He didn't want to need anyone yet because he want's to need himself first and maybe that's okay.
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes
Kudos: 8





	1. Untitled Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Eh I've had this idea for a while and just want to try it out, feed back would be good just so I know to keep going or not.  
> Thanks, as you were  
> xx

Sometimes he liked to make himself sad, not for any real reason other then it was something he had control over. He could make himself sad and no one had any influence over that. He could sit in silence for as long as he wanted and think about what he wanted and not have to listen to anyone tell him how he should feel. Feeling sad was something he liked because it came so natural to him, he was always so predisposed to sadness that if fit him like a new skin.

He liked the way sad music would match his heart beat and he never had to try and pretend that he was fine. Sad music was easy because there was no pretending, you are what you are and most of the time that was sad. He liked the way the music wrapped it self around him and told him he wasn't alone, that there was so many people out there acting like their happy so there friends and families can keep acting happy too. Being sad, in some ways, never really mad him sad because after sitting listening to music for hours he was able to look at himself in the mirror and not wounder who was staring back.

He can control how sad he is because he does it every day. How can you go everyday and not want to snap at anyone who looks your way? How can you be around all your friends and listen to all the noise of what their saying without saying anything? Somethings gotta give. So when he's alone, when he's given the chance to enjoy his own company without anyone hanging out of him he likes to make himself sit with his sadness just to remind himself that he's not pretending. He feels his sadness so he doesn't have to hide it. He sits with his pain and ask's it questions, he lets it take over and make his eyes droopy and his body sag with the weight of the pain he's been carrying around.

It helps, it really does. That's not just something he tells himself no matter what his dad says. Being brave enough to sit and actually feel everything he used to hide is so much easier then the hiding and pretending. No one seems to understand how tired he used to be from acting like he was happy. There's too much work involved, the bone crushing tiredness that comes with it just isn't worth it because no one believes you any way.

People know him, it scares him, but people know him. The way he moves, the way he talks, the way he talks to different people around him, the way carries himself no matter the mood, and people know how he loves. He loves hard and strong because that's all he knows, he loves like he's fighting to keep the people he loves in hie life. He makes it hard for them to want to eave any way. He pulls them in and protects them so that he becomes a safe place for them. That's how he loves. He loves like he want's to be loved back. That scares him too. He doesn't make a big deal out of it because it's not something he really want's to waste time thinking about. He knows how he loves and he knows who he loves, loving someone means protecting them.

Stiles knows about sadness, his friends know about it too, but not the way Stiles does. That's something him and Derek shared, they way they knew sadness and all the intimate secrets sadness brought out of you. They had that in common, they both had sadness, they could bond over their past trauma and then act like nothing was ever said. They liked that about each other, they were both a little fucked up and that's okay cos at this point who isn't? That was something Stiles took solace in, that he wasn't alone. He knew he had people around him that love him and want him to be happy but sometimes they don't love the way he does and that makes him want to love a little less. He doesn't though.

He thinks about taking a step back, thinks about asking everyone just to take a few steps back and let him breath on his own for a few. If he did he'd be able to not worry about anything other then caching up on his sleep and focus a little on what he want's to do with himself in college. Maybe if he asked to take a step back then he'd be able to find himself in the crowd, he'd be able to look at himself in the mirror and say; "I know who you are, I like who you are because you're me."

Sometimes he think's that it's not a lot it ask. It's not like he's gonna disappear, he'd never be able to leave any of them. Maybe if he took a break like Derek did after Mexico then he'd come back to them as the Stiles they knew before everything got out of hand and they all became people that they never were before. He thinks Derek might be the one to talk to about it all but he thinks of the way Derek looks at him and the way he looks at Derek and doesn't think he'd be able to leave after that. He knows that if Derek asked him to stay or go that he would but the timing isn't right. He can't make sense of himself he doesn't want to try and make sense of someone else too. 

The time isn't right to talk to Derek about that because he doesn't want to want anyone right now. All Stiles really wants is to want himself. 


	2. Untitled Part 2

There's things he can say to Derek that he knows will make sense. Sometimes the pack want to help and to be there so much that they need for him to make sense to try and help, Derek never wants anything but the truth from him. If he can tell Derek the truth that means there's one less person he's trying to lie too. 

Sometimes he thinks that maybe what he needs is to say exactly what he's thinking to each member of the pack, other times he knows that would cause more harm then good but it would make him feel so much better. There's a guilt that always follows telling Derek what he's thinking, a guilt that follows him around like a second skin, guilt that settles on him and takes over. He knows that he shouldn't feel this way because Derek comes to him for the same thing. Ranting with the knowledge someone understands what you're feeling and that you're not alone and don't have to be. 

"There's a calm inside of you, makes me feel safe like the tides starting to turn, you make me want to believe that the tides starting to turn. Maybe that's why it's so easy to love you." Every so often he hits Stiles with these truths that make it seem like he could be ready to be himself again soon. These truths, soft confessions, stick to his ribs and make themselves at home and every little while tickle him the right way into remembering that he's loved by someone who he can allow himself to love back.

"You make me want to be better so that I don't have to worry about breaking my heart over you." Stiles can hit with his own confessions, his more laced with love and wanting but waiting. He knows that Derek can take some comfort from what he's saying because he's not saying no, he's saying _'please my love, wait just a little bit longer for me to be consumed by you completely'._

Sties knows that if Derek turned around tomorrow and asked for his own time to be ready then he could wait. They love each other so openly and freely as family already that anything that could come from a relationship would only stand to deepen their love and respect for one an other. They could wait till the sun set for the last time and wouldn't want for anything more because they know they love each other without demanding more.


End file.
